Ogarko

For many married couples, arguing is an everyday occurrence. These arguments may range from the mundane, to heated political discussions. There are plenty of healthy relationships in which the parties seem to be bickering, but are instead engaging in mental stimulation. Perhaps the terms ‘argument’ and ‘disagreement’ should be thrown out altogether when neither party leaves feeling angry or hurt. Some couples just have a different way of communicating that on the outside appears to be tumultuous when instead, they really just like to have intense conversations. Now, if you have noticed that once deep discussions have turned into scream fests, counseling for marriages will ultimately help to calm you both down. You’re not expected to agree on everything, but fighting over what to have for breakfast is neither healthy nor beneficial for your marriage.

Also, it is important not to confuse verbal abuse for a mutually provoked verbal exchange. If one party seems to be inciting all of the disagreements and is also doing all of the yelling, it may be time to find a different means of communication. If you are not allowed to get a word in edgewise, try writing a note and leaving it on the refrigerator, or write a heartfelt email. The response, or lack of response, you get back from your spouse may answer the question, ‘Can I save my marriage?’

While any form of abuse should not be tolerated, there is still the chance that the offending party was not aware of their actions, so if you both attend counseling and make progress, you can probably still work it out. Do not compromise on your standards and do not allow your spouse to verbally abuse or berate you again. At the same time, realize that your spouse may momentarily suffer from a lapse in judgment, and if they quickly act to correct their actions, know that they are still fully devoted towards renewing your marriage.